Afengis Og
Contrary beefs yon wicked fence
for caraway beads of gilt
Fat bees of Minsk alluring whence
contorting far-off quilt
Wonder door where dust of vaga
bonds the fore and aft
A carpet bag of churchmouse raga
spooning gruelful daft
Screaming meems o'r jellybeans
powder puffs the day
Bodacious genes may eat your greens
while turtles turn your clay
Wherefore the dog of fabled bed
forklift in sweet repose
Suckled corn for nurtured said
allas, repleat, suppose
One Pinch is Enough
Granny McClory lived on the second story
of a high-rise building in the slum
She liked to sit by the window in the cool of the evening
'til the freight from Chicago would come
Then she'd go to the cupboard when the whistle blows
grab a pinch of snuff and snort it up her nose
But she'd never take more than a pinch of the stuff because
One pinch is enough
One pinch is enough
Was it Plato who said moderation instead
of saturation when you're pinching that stuff
Gesepie Pecacholie like to cook his ravoli
like his old Italian mama taught him to
It had a special kinda pasta favorite of the Cosa Nostra
made his ravoli easier to chew
And he put it in the oven let it bake for a while
then he'd add a pinch of basil just to give it some style
But he'd never use more than a pinch of the stuff because
One pinch is enough
One pinch is enough
Was it Plato who said moderation instead
of saturation when you're pinching that stuff
Jock LaRoc of Brussels liked to show the chics his muscles
wore a T-shirt with the cig'retts in the sleeve
He had his hair greased back and raced his Chevy on the track
but the women he could never quite deceive
Friday night down on the corner by the movie show
puttin' moves on the women that he never got to know
For they'd never give him more than one pinch of the stuff because
One pinch is enough
One pinch is enough
Was it Plato who said moderation instead
of saturation when you're pinching that stuff
Oh Magnolia
Oh Magnolia, I'm gonna roll ya
down by the tater patch
Oh Magnolia better bring yer blanket
gonna roll you in the thatch
Oh Magnolia, I done told ya
stay away from sailors please
'cause them sailors and Hong Kong tailors
are bound to give you social disease
So don't give a dose to the one you love the most
don't give a dose to me
Don't give a dose to the one you love the most
don't give a dose of VD
I told you before not to open the door
to the man with the smooth-talkin' rap
'cause he'll open the door put you down on the floor
with a guaranteed case of the clap
So don't give a dose to the one you love the most
don't give a dose to me
Don't give a dose to the one you love the most
don't give a dose of VD
Lines Upon a Tranquil Brow
Have you ever while pond'ring the ways of the morn,
Thought to save just a bit, just a drop of the born;
To pour in the ev'ning or late afternoon,
Or during the night when we're shining the moon?
Have you ever cried out while counting the snow,
Or watching the tomtit warble Hello...
"Break out the cigars, this life is for squirr'ls,
We're off to the drugstore to whistle at girls!"
Many Harry Returns
Once you were two, Dear birthday friend,
In spite of purple weather.
But now you are three and near the end
As we grewsome together.
How fourthful thou, forsooth for you,
For soon you will be more!
But - 'fore one can be three be two,
Before be five, be four!
A Song Not for Now
A song not for now you need not put stay
A tune for the was can be sung for today
The notes for the does-not will sound as the does
Today you can sing for the will-be that was
Whence That Wince?
I was stirrin' up a stirrup cup
In a stolen sterling stein,
When I chanced upon a ladle
Who was once my Valentine.
"Oh whence that wince, my wench?" quoth I.
She blushed and said, "Oh sir,
Old daddy isn't stirrin'
Since my momma's been in stir."
Slopposition
Oh, once the opposition was completely opposed,
To all the supposition that was generally supposed,
But now the superstitions that were thought to be imposed,
Are seen by composition to be slightly decomposed.
The Third Rail Theme
The party of the first part
And the party of the next
Were partly participled
In a sparsely covered text.
Were you partial to a party
That has parcelled out its parts
To a faction that was second
In your parley-tickle heart?
Then parlay all your losings
On a horse that's running dark
With lights-out you may triple
In a homer in the park.
Moon Over Mamie
O, Mamie minded Momma
'Til one day in Singapore
A sailor man from Turkestan
Came knocking at the door.
The way he knocked
On knob and lock
It shook her to the core.
She eyed the clock
Twixt tick and tock
And sighed a snappy snore.
Raise raise the raisin!
No rising ruse will reign
With bitter pitter patter
Upon my windowpane!
"Oh, please no longer potter
Upon my poppa's pane."
Mamie mocked the merchantman
Who knocked with might and main.